Dear Diary - The second innings

We started well with the ball, Keyworth nipping out aggressive opening bat Bilal Hussain LBW and 14 year old Surrey Youth bowler Corbett clean bowling Village opener and star bat Harty for 16.

Village recovered decently however, keeping up with the run rate they progressed to 90-2 in the 20th over, before I was released into the attack. I immediately struck. Bowling the useful looking Choudhury for 30 and having his partner Simson stumped for 30 also. Village were 90-4, and 200 now seemed a very long way away. Village are two sammies short of a picnic if they think they can win this one, thought I.

James Hindle - normally a Pyrford player - strode to the wicket at 6 for Village. Normally a dour opening batsmen in Surrey Championship cricket this did not trouble us, and we commenced a tirade of sledging worthy of those convicts who live west of the Tasman sea. He blocked back a few full balls initially, but then - presumably fired up by the chat being directed at him by both Lipscombes - switched gears and batted extraordinarily aggressively. Blow me down!

He cut me though gully for two successive fours, ran quick singles to our in fielders at every opportunity, and then proceeded to smash 20 from one poor over from young Gemson, who had looked good until that point and had hit hard case Bowman for a huge six over cover earlier in the day. The poor lad will probably never recover from the shame!

Village raced to 180-5 in 32 overs, with Hindle well supported by the equally aggressive Ghedia at the other end. Things then got worse. After reaching 50 and then playing out a few overs in an obvious effort to protect the red ink, Hindle received some abuse from his teammates in the chat shed: "get on with it" shouted Harty and Bowman “we only need 3 to win”. He proceeded to launch my very next ball for a huge six over the pavilion. The ball must have travelled at least 120 meters. Tempted to plead the dreaded lurgy for the St Annes game at Pyrford on June 27th!

Jake 6/6/2010

Dear Diary - The first Innings

Few would argue that I am the greatest player ever to play on a Sunday, and I went into this bleak Sunday "friendly" well confident of a) plenty of wickets and b) yet another Pyrford victory. Village CC, I understand, normally boast a celebrity cricketer like myself (although none as famous as my dad!) and I was therefore disappointed that the Times's Prostitute Correspondent Alan White decided to avoid the game.

Pyrford started poorly, opening batsman Keyworth being out LBW, stumped and caught behind (only the third being given) off the bowling of the consistent Villager Boa.
At the other end, the predatory fellow Kiwi Paul Bowman was picking up colt wickets with little effort. I came to the wicket at 40-4 when 2nd XI vice captain James Lipscombe was clean bowled by Indian quick Pratik Ghedia. The sledging was extraordinary with the Village wicketkeeper pretending to mistake me for one of the colts (I am 19!) and the aforementioned nasty kiwi Bowman making comments about my "more successful" older brother Jarrod.

I started poorly and narrowly got away with an airy drive through point off spinner EK Gupte that would have gone straight to Gully had Village slipper Bowman not moved him the ball before. Things got easier however. I flicked Gupte for a pair of nice leg side sixes and dispatching the unusually quiet Australian Harty for several boundaries.

Ignoring the chose fielders chat about my being "quite good for a colt" I brought up my 50 in the 30th over, and then retired on 68 with the score 160-6 in order to preserve my not out.

Village finished well, grabbing three wickets in the final ten and restricted us to a competitive 200-9. I was confident we would be able to defend 200, which was quite a good score on a slow, unpredictable, wicket. Particularly as the Pyrford attack boasted both me, Jake Smith - overseas pro - and 2nd XI opening bowler Jon Keyworth.

First team of the season is selected. Here are the Villagers tasked with recreating the season opening win of 2007:

• Bomb
• Hindle (wk)
• Morgans
• Marrow
• Luca
• EK
• KP
• 2007's Most Improved Player*
• P-Ly
• The Risen Christ
• Nora Batty

Match is at North London CC -

- and starts at 2pm sharp. Given the lack of outdoor nets this pre-season, everyone is asked to be there by 1.15pm. Tea is included so the match fee is £10.

The ground also has good spectating facilities and there is a good weather forecast so all non-playing VCC members and WAGs are encouraged to come along and support the team.

If there are any issues which mean you can not play, please email the club

Victus Honor

KP

* could have been Best Fielder, no-one remembers

PS: The VCC store is open and ready for your business, visit

for more info

The news page is now officially BACK. No longer is the computer foxed by pesky American date formats.

report to follow

Match report to follow.

Villagers

With MCC taking on Durham today to kick off the 2009 first class season you must have been wondering when our season starts and when you'll start getting spammed from your favorite cricket club again. Well wonder no more, it's next bloody weekend, and now!

First match of the season sees VCC heading to Crouch End in a re-enactment of 2007s opener against Pimlico Strollers. Will DI again take a wicket with the first ball? Will Bomb crack one out onto the WAGs for another ton? Will Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall break another finger avoiding the ball in the field? The answers to these and other questions will be played out for all to see next Sunday.

Meet at 1.30pm (thats 10am for you DI)  for a 2pm start.

Email me back and let me know if you can play.

Herr Hanson is putting the call out for subs now too. As you'll appreciate the start of a new season sees us having to outlay quite a bit of cash as we pay for pitches, match balls and insurance. Can everyone please send in their payment of £10 for subs now, and for regulars we ask that you also pay for a few matches in advance - say £30. Bank details are available on demand for those who need them. Also, if you have not yet paid for your pre-season net sesisons then do so now as the bank balance is looking about as healthy as RBS.

Victus Honor
KP

That it, you've found them, here they are.

Strauss, A:

People say it was his stupid captaincy that meant we didn't win either of the Tests we should have done. I say: unlikely. The man's clearly very intelligent. Just look at his face:

Look Mummy, I got a stump. 1/10

Cook, A:

Proved the doubters wrong about the fact that he's unable to kick on towards big scores by scoring lots of 50s and then getting out.2/10

Shah, O:

The answer to England's number 3 question, if the question was "Who might be even worse at number 3 than Ian Bell?" 0/10

Pietersen, K:

Got behind the new captain, endeared himself to his team mates with every interview, and above all proved that there's no bigger cock in world cricket. Missed his wife on tour so much he signed up for the IPL. A bona fide great guy. 1/10

Prior, M

Provided the unexpected highlight of the winter. 

In your face, Matthew. Almost earns him a point, but doesn't. Good keeper though, apart from when he has to stop the ball. 0/10

Sidebottom, R:

Again, very close to earning a point for one incident when I was watching him bowl. Shouted at someone on the boundary for not throwing the ball in just so, then let one through his legs in the next over. What a hero: I think any Villager can respect that. 0/10