We began with a practise in the excellent nets – cue many a wild hoick and lost ball (the latter due to bowlers incapable of sending it down the net). Soon the toss was done, KP chose to bat, and duly formed another opening pair, this time with G-Funk. The pair started confidently against some admittedly average bowling, which rather filled the waiting batsmen with confidence – given the standard of the openers, there had to be plenty of pies on offer. Soon Graham was gone however, the dour Scot trying a late cut that he brought back onto his stumps as the ball kept low.

The first inkling the Village were in a game came with the change bowlers, a nippy seamer and a decent off spinner. Undeterred, KP and new bat Morgs set about the job well, until KP went for a wholly unexpected heave at the spinner (those on the boundary had given him five balls – he actually waited two whole overs). Morgs, however, had picked up from where he’d left off the week before, pulling and driving beautifully. Marrow now came to the wicket and looked in similarly good touch, the low bounce of the wicket perfectly suited to his off side play.

The pair added over 100 in double quick time, before Morgs began to tire mentally and started hitting out. One skier went down, a second didn’t, and he fell 15 short of his second Village hundred, a massive shame after a brilliant knock. Your correspondent went out to partner Marrow, and we continued to work the ball around. Soon AAP, playing for the opposition, entered the attack. A crueller writer might suggest the opposition was attempting to hasten a declaration, but not this one, who actually had his stump tickled by a good ball that turned a bit. Sadly for the verbose graptolithologist the bail didn’t come off, and a couple of deliveries later a full toss ended up in the pavilion, the final act before a good sporting declaration from KP, who’d set 246 and left them plenty of overs to bat.

I’m afraid I can’t comment on the start of their innings as even more sportingly I’d been allowed to watch the second half of the FA Cup final (and God I wish I hadn’t, Kevin Prince Boateng, you are a bottler of the first order). From what I gather Ben and Lucas bowled well to take three early wickets, the former helped by a good Morgs catch, the latter pinning the batsmen lbw with his surprising pace.

By the time I got back on the field team Village was in the box seat. Two good bats were well set, but Eklavya pinned the opener with a peach of a quicker one. The other one was going strong mind, repeatedly sticking the Louse and Ek over the ropes, one particularly violent shot leading to some golden ‘fat bloke falling off his chair’  comedy in the crowd, the likes of which can't be articulated in mere words.

KP then produced some inspired captaincy to get rid of number 6, sticking Marrow on and watching Parp gobble up the sharp chance created at short midwicket. Needless to say, Hanson was not underpumped with his effort, producing the kind of celebration he usually reserves for the dismissal of children. KP then followed that up by getting rid of the dangerous number 5, courtesy of a stunning catch by Morgs at cover, holding onto a red hot tracer bullet heading for the off side boundary and its congregation of drunk heckling undergraduates, who urged the bowler on with the inspired  chant of ‘Come on baldy’. Louse carried on the good work by getting the number 8 stumped, and Jesus were staring down the barrel.

So, to summarise, excellent batting, good bowling, generally solid fielding – perhaps we should have just left it there. And if only we had. 6 overs or so to go, about 30 needed, the final pair at the wicket consisting of a last man who knew only how to block, and a number 8 who’d looked far from comfortable. VCC in the box seat, with the draw unlikely and a Jesus win pretty much out of the question. It’s fair to say what followed didn’t quite go to plan. And this is why we are the Village.

After three overs, the wicket hadn’t fallen, and about a dozen runs had been accrued, mostly in edges. The draw looked plausible, the VCC win distinctly possible, and a Jesus win highly unlikely. Well, your correspondent started the ball rolling when a leg side hit flew towards him on the boundary – in sprinting round I implausibly managed to run too far, and ended up on my arse attempting to reverse and field the ball. Second bit of fatty falling over action, this one slightly less amusing. Especially when two thick edges also flew for four, and in the next over the number 8 who’d now somehow got to fifty thumped a couple more to bring home the bacon for his awestruck team mates. Had he been hustling us? After the game their captain swore he’d never seen him play before like that in his life.

Rather hard to say what we can learn from this one. We batted almost too well, in that we scored so quickly they ended up with rather a lot of overs to get the runs, bowled mostly ok even if we went for a lot of runs, and the fielding was ok. Jesus, by contrast, just batted brilliantly having bowled and fielded like clowns for at least half our innings. The moral? Like the FA Cup, the best team doesn’t always win.

Man of the Match: Morgs played superbly and fielded brilliantly, but I’m going to give it to Marrow, whose innings was chanceless, and who came in against the tougher bowlers in the attack, and who grabbed a wicket.

Village Idiot: Well, having missed 45 mins of the second innings and ended up arse over tit trying to stop a rather important boundary, I don’t think it would be fair if anyone other than me got it.